Still writing, still working on the second book.
As for the copywork exercises, I've paused that at the moment. I blame the cold weather. I do my exercise during my lunch time at work. I like doing it outdoors, taking in the fresh air and the sun. Well, winter came along and took a giant dump on that routine.
Anyway, I'm also having a writerly identity crisis: do I stick with self-publishing or do I focus on traditional publishing? Money, it seems, is not the deciding factor for me. I want a good editor, but I don't have the budget for a GOOD editor. A good avenue for me is getting into traditional publishing. But then again, that's like winning the lottery.
We'll see how it goes. Maybe it's the winter time blues...
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Thursday, December 13, 2018
Thursday, November 8, 2018
November 2018 Update
Now at 70% with the second draft of the second novel. At this rate, I think I'm going to finish at the end of December. This book will then be released by next year.
I need to create again...
The revision phase has shackled me to pruning mode, but my psyche is begging for creation mode. To sate that hunger, I'm planning on writing short stories, planning outlines and world building. Those I'm scheduling during my lunch hour at work.
But if that's the case, then my copywork exercise would be bumped off. Usually, I do my copywork during lunch hours. That said, I'm planning on doing these exercises every morning.
Of course reading comes in between. I read in the train, read while eating, read before going to sleep, read when there's nothing good on TV (or wait for my husband to come back home so we can binge watch Netflix).
Looking at this, I am fully devoted to my writing craft. Because of this, I am losing my interest in playing video games. The last game I played to the fullest was Octopath Traveler. After that? None.
I'm not even excited for Spider-Man or Red Dead Redemption 2 even though I had expressed my excitement on those titles. They're available now, but I can't seem to nudge myself in clicking the "buy" button.
Though it may be a loss, it is also a gain.
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I need to create again...
The revision phase has shackled me to pruning mode, but my psyche is begging for creation mode. To sate that hunger, I'm planning on writing short stories, planning outlines and world building. Those I'm scheduling during my lunch hour at work.
But if that's the case, then my copywork exercise would be bumped off. Usually, I do my copywork during lunch hours. That said, I'm planning on doing these exercises every morning.
Of course reading comes in between. I read in the train, read while eating, read before going to sleep, read when there's nothing good on TV (or wait for my husband to come back home so we can binge watch Netflix).
Looking at this, I am fully devoted to my writing craft. Because of this, I am losing my interest in playing video games. The last game I played to the fullest was Octopath Traveler. After that? None.
I'm not even excited for Spider-Man or Red Dead Redemption 2 even though I had expressed my excitement on those titles. They're available now, but I can't seem to nudge myself in clicking the "buy" button.
Though it may be a loss, it is also a gain.
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Friday, October 12, 2018
Scene Analysis #12 - The Gunslinger by Stephen King
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: The Gunslinger by Stephen King.
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
October 2018 Update
58% done with the sequel.
Got one of my short stories accepted by a journal. Very happy with that!
That's about it with the writing life. As for personal life? New York Comic Con was a blast (as always). My husband bought a lot of NYCC exclusive action figures, which is his thing. For me, I bought some comics and graphic novels from The Artist Alley.
Got to see three panels in the Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden. I was fanboying so hard when Good Omens came on and saw one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman.
During the Q&A, a writer had asked how they could develop their voice. Neil said that your voice is always there, but you need to get it out. He then quoted Chuck Jones who said, "every artist has thousands of bad drawings in them, and the only way to get rid of them is to draw them out."
I'm still drawing out (or writing out) a thousand bad drafts to get to the good ones.
And as life goes, everything comes to an end. I was inspired to write a farewell letter to this wonderful convention. See below:
---
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Got one of my short stories accepted by a journal. Very happy with that!
That's about it with the writing life. As for personal life? New York Comic Con was a blast (as always). My husband bought a lot of NYCC exclusive action figures, which is his thing. For me, I bought some comics and graphic novels from The Artist Alley.
Got to see three panels in the Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden. I was fanboying so hard when Good Omens came on and saw one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman.
During the Q&A, a writer had asked how they could develop their voice. Neil said that your voice is always there, but you need to get it out. He then quoted Chuck Jones who said, "every artist has thousands of bad drawings in them, and the only way to get rid of them is to draw them out."
I'm still drawing out (or writing out) a thousand bad drafts to get to the good ones.
And as life goes, everything comes to an end. I was inspired to write a farewell letter to this wonderful convention. See below:
---
Last day of New York Comic Con for us.
There were a lot of children there. Some of the children were growing gray, but had youth in their pose. Some children were dressed as their favorite comic book, TV and movie characters that they idolized ten, twenty or thirty years ago. And the same children brought their children with them, dressed in their favorite characters of the current.
Some of the children weren't dressed up, but participated in the play, the make-believe, the joyous act of suspending disbelief to enter a fantastical world.
These conventions are like tears in the universe where parallel worlds collide.
DC Universe collided with Marvel Universe.
My Hero Acaedemia mingled with the crew of One Piece.
Spider-Men and Spider-Women clashed with Venoms and Carnages.
And after the universes return to their place, snapping back like a stretched rubber band, we must remember this:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."
Stories they may be, but there is a seed of truth within them. Our lives are filled with myths, and our myths are reflections of our lives.
So as Monday comes, when the work week begins, go and pick up a book, flip open a comic, stream a show or movie...
And play.
Play to be informed,
Play to be inspired,
Play to be invigorated.
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Friday, September 28, 2018
Scene Analysis #11 - A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Scene Analysis #10 - Sirens Of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut.
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
September 2018 Update
About 35% done on the 2nd draft.
I've formalized how I approach the copywork exercises. Before, I was a bit intimidated when drafting the blogpost on the exercises. Now, I'm kinda' confident on the entries. I've devised a questionnaire for myself, and once I've answered all the self-imposed questions, I draft the blogpost with those answers.
The third book, which is not connected with this series, is still in the outlining phase. I think this will be my workflow: draft or revise a novel, and then plan on the next novel. I had called myself a pantser before, but now I see the benefits of outlining: it allows you to work on a future project without fully committing your brain power on the current project.
The third book will be about "doorways."
Lastly, I've decided to stick with Kindle Exclusive, which means that my current book is only offered in Amazon. I'm still a newbie in this publishing game, so I'm taking a cue from the video game industry. Once I have more books under my belt (and more experience), then I'll open up the channels on other platforms.
As for life? Recently celebrated the fifth anniversary of marriage with my husband.
(The nerd on the right is me; the nerd on the left is my husband.)
Keep writing y'all!
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I've formalized how I approach the copywork exercises. Before, I was a bit intimidated when drafting the blogpost on the exercises. Now, I'm kinda' confident on the entries. I've devised a questionnaire for myself, and once I've answered all the self-imposed questions, I draft the blogpost with those answers.
The third book, which is not connected with this series, is still in the outlining phase. I think this will be my workflow: draft or revise a novel, and then plan on the next novel. I had called myself a pantser before, but now I see the benefits of outlining: it allows you to work on a future project without fully committing your brain power on the current project.
The third book will be about "doorways."
Lastly, I've decided to stick with Kindle Exclusive, which means that my current book is only offered in Amazon. I'm still a newbie in this publishing game, so I'm taking a cue from the video game industry. Once I have more books under my belt (and more experience), then I'll open up the channels on other platforms.
As for life? Recently celebrated the fifth anniversary of marriage with my husband.
(The nerd on the right is me; the nerd on the left is my husband.)
Keep writing y'all!
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Friday, August 31, 2018
Scene Analysis #9 - Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Scene Analysis #8 - Hyperion by Dan Simmons
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: Hyperion by Dan Simmons.
Monday, August 6, 2018
August 2018 Update
I am about 20% complete with the second draft for No Heroes' sequel. The first half of the book was written by the seat of my pants, so now I'm tightening the belt to make sure none of the plot threads are loose.
The bi-weekly scene analysis is back on track. I'm slowly finding out how I would format it and what type of content I should be including. I decided to write my analysis on a single section instead of a rider to each page. The latest analysis follows this format, and I'm happy with how it turned out.
Lastly, I'm creating an outline for a new novel I'm planning. For this novel, I intend to send it to publishers or agents. That's still far in the future, but the outline is slowly building as ideas come to me. By the time I'm finished with the sequel, I'll have a complete outline for a new book.
As always, keep writing!
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The bi-weekly scene analysis is back on track. I'm slowly finding out how I would format it and what type of content I should be including. I decided to write my analysis on a single section instead of a rider to each page. The latest analysis follows this format, and I'm happy with how it turned out.
Lastly, I'm creating an outline for a new novel I'm planning. For this novel, I intend to send it to publishers or agents. That's still far in the future, but the outline is slowly building as ideas come to me. By the time I'm finished with the sequel, I'll have a complete outline for a new book.
As always, keep writing!
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Friday, August 3, 2018
Scene Analysis #7 - Shogun by James Clavell
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: Shogun by James Clavell.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
Scene Analysis #6 - Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, another novel novel told in first person POV.
Thursday, July 5, 2018
July 2018 Update
Revisions to the sequel for No Heroes is in progress. I've worked on 1,500 so far. The weekend clobbered my writing time because of friends visiting from out of town. July looks good, so I can focus more on my writing.
The analysis are turning out great, and I am aiming to add new content every two weeks. I'll be posting one soon, most probably tomorrow.
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The analysis are turning out great, and I am aiming to add new content every two weeks. I'll be posting one soon, most probably tomorrow.
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Follow me @jonmayowriter
Friday, June 22, 2018
Scene Analysis #5 - The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
Greetings Persistent Writers! Here is my latest analysis. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks, a novel told in first person POV, which will be the first entry for this POV.
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Scene Analysis #4 - Mort by Terry Pratchett
Welcome back, Persistent Writers! Today we are diving into Mort by Terry Pratchett. I love this book, mainly because of Death and the premise of Death's apprentice.
June 2018 Update
The second novel is finally being worked on; the proposal outline for the second draft is being drafted. With the lessons I've learned along the way, I am somewhat confident on how this sequel will go. Once I'm done with the proposal outline, I'll return my focus on the short stories for the Abandoned series. There are four stories, word count approximately 16,000. I intend to distribute that for free.
I've been changing and innovating how I write my stories. My outline method looks daunting and only intelligible to me and me alone. I'm sure every writer has their own process where it looks like madness. That might be the reason why not all writers reveal their writing process. They may pull the curtain just a little bit, but they won't fully unravel their Frankenstein of a writing process.
The scene analysis has been working great. It helps with traffic to this blog, and it also expands my knowledge on the writing craft. I've hit a snag, however, on the highlighters. I just learned that you can only buy them by the bulk. My blue highlighter is drying up, and Amazon will only sell me in packs of six or twelve. I may have to suck it up and just buy an assortment.
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I've been changing and innovating how I write my stories. My outline method looks daunting and only intelligible to me and me alone. I'm sure every writer has their own process where it looks like madness. That might be the reason why not all writers reveal their writing process. They may pull the curtain just a little bit, but they won't fully unravel their Frankenstein of a writing process.
The scene analysis has been working great. It helps with traffic to this blog, and it also expands my knowledge on the writing craft. I've hit a snag, however, on the highlighters. I just learned that you can only buy them by the bulk. My blue highlighter is drying up, and Amazon will only sell me in packs of six or twelve. I may have to suck it up and just buy an assortment.
Don't die on me now! |
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Saturday, May 26, 2018
Scene Analysis #3 - Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Hey everyone, it's that time again. Another scene analysis. This time, we're doing Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. I wanted to do Terry Pratchett, but this scene actually caught me by surprise. I will explain later as we go down the page.
Monday, May 21, 2018
Scene Analysis # 2 - It by Stephen King
Hey there, folks! Here's the 2nd analysis. Today, we are doing IT by Stephen King. The scene I had copied is from Chapter 2, page 17 from my Kindle.
Friday, May 11, 2018
Scene Analysis # 1 - Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson
This is the first entry on a series of posts I'm planning to do. I've been doing some copywork exercises, but all were done on the computer. Recently, I decided to do it by hand. Reason for this is accessibility: I don't have to boot up my computer in the morning and do copywork for 30 minutes. Now, I do my copywork during lunchtime at work. It still takes 30 minutes, including highlighting and a quick scene analysis.
Here are shots on a scene I copied from Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson. This scene occurs in the middle of the book, so if you are reading this series, turn away now lest be spoiled (although nothing too breaking).
Thursday, May 3, 2018
May 2018 Update
I have something planned for posting regularly on my Twitter and eventually Instagram. I don't want to reveal it now, but you'll see it eventually in my feeds.
I am finalizing the short stories for the Abandoned series. Currently four are near completion. I want to write two more just to pad the collection, so that may take another month or so.
The second novel is still simmering, but I'm planning to print that baby up this week. I can't wait to mark that up with red ink, commentary, cutting critique and some salty tears.
Compared to other indie authors, I am writing at a very slow pace. I'm okay with that. I am still getting my legs on this industry, and I'm learning as I go (though in a snail's pace).
I've canceled my Kindle Exclusive, and I'm back to distributing my book wide (hey there, click here to get my book!) I didn't like the thought of being stuck with one distributor. Also, I've invested some cash on Amazon ads. I may lose that money, but I'll chalk it up to "tuition fee."
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I am finalizing the short stories for the Abandoned series. Currently four are near completion. I want to write two more just to pad the collection, so that may take another month or so.
The second novel is still simmering, but I'm planning to print that baby up this week. I can't wait to mark that up with red ink, commentary, cutting critique and some salty tears.
Compared to other indie authors, I am writing at a very slow pace. I'm okay with that. I am still getting my legs on this industry, and I'm learning as I go (though in a snail's pace).
I've canceled my Kindle Exclusive, and I'm back to distributing my book wide (hey there, click here to get my book!) I didn't like the thought of being stuck with one distributor. Also, I've invested some cash on Amazon ads. I may lose that money, but I'll chalk it up to "tuition fee."
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Follow me @jonmayowriter
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
April 2018 Update
I need to be consistent with my blogging and social media-ing. It's the ugly side of being an author (at least for me). When I get home from an arduous day at work, I just want to relax, log-in on my characters and then throw shit at them until they triumph over the conflicts and dilemmas I have given them.
But if I want to be a success at this, I need to do some mercantile work. I have been silent for the past month with regards to that. My twitter feed is bear, and my last blogpost was at the end of February. However, I've been sending out short stories to magazines, so at least I'm doing something on the back-end of things. But I do need to work on the front-end of things.
I'm toying with the idea of doing some scene analysis on some movies and novels. We'll see if I commit to that. Being active in the community is another possibility, but I don't want to force myself to post on social media just because I have to.
Anyway. The short story anthology for my series is nearing completion. Once that's done, I'll be working on Book Two.
See you in a few weeks (or a month). Keep on writing!
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But if I want to be a success at this, I need to do some mercantile work. I have been silent for the past month with regards to that. My twitter feed is bear, and my last blogpost was at the end of February. However, I've been sending out short stories to magazines, so at least I'm doing something on the back-end of things. But I do need to work on the front-end of things.
I'm toying with the idea of doing some scene analysis on some movies and novels. We'll see if I commit to that. Being active in the community is another possibility, but I don't want to force myself to post on social media just because I have to.
Anyway. The short story anthology for my series is nearing completion. Once that's done, I'll be working on Book Two.
See you in a few weeks (or a month). Keep on writing!
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Follow me @jonmayowriter
Saturday, February 24, 2018
Stop Talking to Yourself and Start Freewriting
I used to talk to myself. Not in a crazy way, but in a writerly way (which is still crazy). I’d talk to myself, trying to find a solution to my plot problems, stare at the blinking cursor, stand up, pace around until ruts are formed on the wooden floor. If the problem on the story gets too much, and my self-talk turns into a whirlwind of emotions and frustrations, then I close the file and tell myself “tomorrow.”
Productivity was low during those days. Best days would get me about seven hundred words, worse days would be zilch.
But one afternoon in Barnes & Noble, I discovered freewriting. I was skimming through Writing Down The Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I didn’t buy it because it was a small book, and I’ve already learned something from it (though I’ll get it eventually as a thanks).
Straight from wikipedia, freewriting is defined as thus:
I do this on a separate doc file. If I’m working on a manuscript, I name the freewriting file as follows: “freewriting.nameofmanuscript.docx”
Before I begin on my manuscript, I give myself a four-minute freewriting warm-up. No more. No less. Some say to do ten minutes, but personally I feel four minutes is sufficient. There is no rule to this so you can choose how many. But don’t overdo it, don’t let it detract from your manuscript. Procrastination can use this exercise as their mask.
Another benefit of freewriting is it helps diagnose plot problems. For example, while I’m writing on my manuscript, a character does something that is not in line with her motives, or her actions deviate from my outline. Then I’d get stuck, and I start talking to myself, mouthing off silently on how to fix the problem, on why did I arrive at this point, on how I’m a bad writer, on how I’m really really bad at this and I should stop writing and just work on my nine-to-five and…
You get the drill.
So instead of creating a whirlwind of unproductive thoughts and emotions, I decided to write it all down. It’s similar to how programmers find solutions to their buggy code. It’s called Rubber Duck Debugging where they talk to a rubber duck on their desk, explaining how their code works and how it’s supposed to work. This self-talk would eventually lead them to a solution. But for us writers, we need to write them down lest we invite self-doubt.
Unlike the warm-up, I don’t put a time limit on this freewriting diagnostics. The warm-up is for loosening you up; the diagnostic is for inviting ideas. You freewrite as much as you can just so you can punch through the block you are facing. It doesn’t take more than four minutes in my experience. And once a solution emerges, switch back to your manuscript and continue writing.
So why is freewriting better than self-talk? This is anecdotal, so take it with a grain. I believe freewriting is better because we turn our thoughts into something tangible. We transmute them from the ether of our consciousness into texts on our doc files. And these thoughts on the page are equal, no stronger than the other. If we let our thoughts float around in our minds, self-doubt often butts in and overstays their welcome. It’s like a party inside your noggin: one second you’re talking to your best-friend, the next second your obnoxious acquaintance comes in and switches the topic.
That’s my opinion on it. Your freewriting file is not meant to be read again. It is just there to receive, not to be consumed.
Except for this one. The following is an entry from one of my freewriting sessions:
(NOTE: The main body of the freewriting entry is my four-minute warm-up. Underneath this body, are sentences with the “>>>” symbols; these are freewriting diagnostics where I had encountered a problem during my normal writing session.)
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Productivity was low during those days. Best days would get me about seven hundred words, worse days would be zilch.
But one afternoon in Barnes & Noble, I discovered freewriting. I was skimming through Writing Down The Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I didn’t buy it because it was a small book, and I’ve already learned something from it (though I’ll get it eventually as a thanks).
Straight from wikipedia, freewriting is defined as thus:
“...a prewriting technique in which a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, grammar, or topic. It produces raw, often unusable material, but helps writers overcome blocks of apathy and self-criticism.”I agree that it helps overcome apathy and self-criticism. I call freewriting as the grease for my writing cogs, the diuretic for my writing tubes (or the enema to my writing colon). You let loose and just write whatever comes to mind. Once I started freewriting, I saw my word count improve. Not by a whole lot, but writing became less painful.
I do this on a separate doc file. If I’m working on a manuscript, I name the freewriting file as follows: “freewriting.nameofmanuscript.docx”
Before I begin on my manuscript, I give myself a four-minute freewriting warm-up. No more. No less. Some say to do ten minutes, but personally I feel four minutes is sufficient. There is no rule to this so you can choose how many. But don’t overdo it, don’t let it detract from your manuscript. Procrastination can use this exercise as their mask.
Another benefit of freewriting is it helps diagnose plot problems. For example, while I’m writing on my manuscript, a character does something that is not in line with her motives, or her actions deviate from my outline. Then I’d get stuck, and I start talking to myself, mouthing off silently on how to fix the problem, on why did I arrive at this point, on how I’m a bad writer, on how I’m really really bad at this and I should stop writing and just work on my nine-to-five and…
You get the drill.
So instead of creating a whirlwind of unproductive thoughts and emotions, I decided to write it all down. It’s similar to how programmers find solutions to their buggy code. It’s called Rubber Duck Debugging where they talk to a rubber duck on their desk, explaining how their code works and how it’s supposed to work. This self-talk would eventually lead them to a solution. But for us writers, we need to write them down lest we invite self-doubt.
Unlike the warm-up, I don’t put a time limit on this freewriting diagnostics. The warm-up is for loosening you up; the diagnostic is for inviting ideas. You freewrite as much as you can just so you can punch through the block you are facing. It doesn’t take more than four minutes in my experience. And once a solution emerges, switch back to your manuscript and continue writing.
So why is freewriting better than self-talk? This is anecdotal, so take it with a grain. I believe freewriting is better because we turn our thoughts into something tangible. We transmute them from the ether of our consciousness into texts on our doc files. And these thoughts on the page are equal, no stronger than the other. If we let our thoughts float around in our minds, self-doubt often butts in and overstays their welcome. It’s like a party inside your noggin: one second you’re talking to your best-friend, the next second your obnoxious acquaintance comes in and switches the topic.
That’s my opinion on it. Your freewriting file is not meant to be read again. It is just there to receive, not to be consumed.
Except for this one. The following is an entry from one of my freewriting sessions:
2/3/2018
Some word of enouragement. Ane editor at a short story place complimented myu writing, but siad that the one did not match with their magazine. So at least we have an idea that canceled is actual;ly funny and a contender. Anyway. That’s that. We have to move on. But that is what you are gouing to do. You are going to continue to write. You will always write and continue tow rite because the reason why yopua re weriting is because youb want to enter these simulations, enter these other lives adn then the flipside, youa re also hjioning your skills as a writer. You are always hjioning your skills and refining your process. Experimenting on your process. Maybe there is something that needs to be unleanrned or something, like bnad habits. Is there such things as bad habits. I think there is. That the bad habits of using passive and shit liket aht and also the was and stuff liket hat. I mean those can be used, but try to limit them. That i sthe thing. It is not really about YOU CANNT USE THAT. It really is about limit their use, but if there is nothing else, use them.t hat is what it is. Okay./ sof or the next short story. I t8hink i don’t think i have an idea yet. This is just basically a first person pov thing. So it might come of as stream of consciousness. Sop we hacve the set up rithgt? I mean, it is not conventiopnal and shit, but you need to learn hwot o do this shit. You need to learn how to control; these kinds of things. And i think you already have an idea of how things will be. You know. It hink you need to do ten minutes of copywork, thenhighlighting and then summarizing. I thin summarizing is kind of a good way to find out the flow of shit, you know. Why because you also get an idea of how you will contrnstruct your otulines, whicbh is good. Okjay,. So what else is there anyway? I dont htihijk there is anything else. Because the time is up. Time to write.
>>> Shit. So does he put the stuff in there? Does he put crap on it? The thing. The stuff. He injects his thoughts on a piece of stuff or something. You know. Will he do that? Or is he just going to talk to this guy?i think i like that other better. Don’t shy away. Jay. Don’;t so do it.
>>> so he has guarded some prisoners before. So what then? Well, isn’t that the case? If he has then. Well. Crap. I think you need to change the order then.
>>> Okay. How is it possible that he heard shit. Okay. So what is this clearing out
(NOTE: The main body of the freewriting entry is my four-minute warm-up. Underneath this body, are sentences with the “>>>” symbols; these are freewriting diagnostics where I had encountered a problem during my normal writing session.)
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Sunday, February 18, 2018
Pop
by Jon Mayo
(about 1,900 words)
---
I woke to the sound of explosion. I checked if Cassie, my little sister, was alright. She was intact and sound asleep. I gently slipped my arm off her and walked to the window. Across our home, on the sidewalk, was the human remains of that morning jogger. I met him once.
His torso had exploded. His legs were two houses away. I crouched down to look up from the window. The head was still spinning in the air while the arms were on their way down. Both limbs fell with a loud thud, and the head cracked open as it hit the cool macadam.
Cassie snorted and rustled on the bed. I turned around to see her rubbing her eyes awake.
"Morning," I said.
"Morning," she said.
She rolled to the side of the bed and sat at the edge, her legs dangling. On the carpeted floor was our latest quarry of novels and graphic novels, comics and children's books. Some had streaks of blood on their covers. Yesterday was library day. Today was beach day.
"Get ready and take a bath," I said, "we'll leave after breakfast."
She nodded although her eyes were still closed. I walked over to her, nudged her a bit and squeezed her right cheek, which made her giggle and smile.
While she took a bath, I heated up some corned beef on the gas stove. Our supply was limited to canned foods. Cassie didn't complain, but I wished I could make better meals with decent ingredients and stock. We finished our breakfast, and it was my turn for the bathroom. My hair was getting longer, but still no mustache to make me look like a grown-up.
Before we left the house, I pocketed the Glock handgun I picked up two months ago. There were five bullets left, and I didn't waste any of it for a test shot. I locked the back door and secured the windows. I double checked them again just to be sure. We stepped out, and then I locked the front door. Dad's car was still on the driveway. Even if I knew how to drive, the roads were congested with abandoned cars, most of them with windshields and windows splattered with red.
Cassie noticed the fresh stain across our sidewalk. I moved her away from it and tried to shield her eyes, but she pried my hands away. We started walking. You could still see patches of dried blood and dehydrated sinew on the street, the sidewalk and the gutters. Limbs were carried away by coyotes and dogs. There were no reports of animals being affected by spontaneous combustion. Just us humans.
After passing three houses, we were in front of Mrs. Wong's home. She was sitting on her lawn chair and reading a magazine with her legs stretched forward. To her left were piles of magazines, a pitcher of water and a shotgun.
"Good Morning Mrs. Wong," said Cassie, waving her arms. Mrs. Wong shifted her magazine sideways, showing her immaculate white skin, shaded by her wicker hat. She wore sunglasses that dominated the upper part of her head. She smirked and nodded.
We exited our neighborhood and crossed the dry lands that lay at the outskirts of our town. We avoided the town with its streets and alleyways stinking of dried blood, rotting flesh, lifeless bodies. It was a depressing route, a route we had only taken once. But out in the desert, it was more of a serene walk, a moment to meditate. After twenty minutes of walking, the breeze carried the scent of the sea, its shore emerging from the distance.
Before we headed towards the beach, we stopped by a grocery store next to the gas station. I placed the collar of my shirt to my nose, anticipating the worst before we stepped inside. I looked at Cassie who had already covered her's. The door was wide open, and already I could smell the warm, sickening stench emanating out from the store. I took a step back to take a deep breath. Cassie held on tight. I wanted her to stay outside, but that would be a mistake.
We rush in, taking small inhales, enough to give us oxygen without getting sick.
"Take as much as you can, Cas," I said through my shirt.
I snatched an empty basket from the floor, and we raced down the aisle. Cassie grabbed whatever was in her reach: small bags of chips, cans of mixed nuts, boxes of popcorn, candy, melted chocolate. The basket was half full, and there was enough room for a forty ounce beer for our little picnic. When we reached the end of the aisle, the basket was heavy. We were near the frozen food section where all the meats had gone bad. We turned and sprinted for the exit. Cassie giggled as we ran.
A silhouette of a man stood at the entrance, his features hidden from the blaze outside. Cassie stopped, and I immediately pulled her to my side. The stranger was holding a baseball bat. I reached for my gun and aimed it at him.
"Easy kid," he said, "I'm just here for supplies."
"Back away," I said, trying my best to sound like a grown man. "I don't want to shoot you so back away."
"Alright, alright," he said and stepped back into sunlight. His hair was frayed, and his skin was wrinkled, greasy from sweat and grime. His gaze moved from my gun to Cassie.
"You be careful now," he said with a sickening grin, his eyes running up and down on Cassie. I wanted to pull the trigger; there was no one—no police, no concerned citizen, no adults—who would lock me up for murder. We inch out of the grocery store, my gun still pointed at the man's head. I holstered my pistol after we reached a safe distance, but I still kept an eye on that sicko standing at the mouth of the grocery store.
We entered a cluster of beach houses that were mostly abandoned. We stayed on the wide road with a view to the beach. I kept my hand on my gun, on edge at any danger that could be waiting for us at any corner. It was our usual route, which was safe, but after the encounter at the grocery store, you could never be sure.
As we passed the sixth house, I could hear muffled cries two houses down to our right. I pulled Cassie to my left, my hand on her shoulders. As we neared the wailing, I quickly covered Cassie's eyes. She didn't pry it off.
It was Mrs. Leitch, on her rocker with blood smeared all over her chest, chin, arms and legs. The shirt she wore was shredded from an explosion. Her left breast was in tatters. Her right arm, which had cradled her baby, was broken in half. If I hadn't turned away, I would have stepped on her baby's leg. Cassie gasped and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Close your eyes," I said to Cassie. We walked on. Mrs. Leitch's sorrow faded behind us, eventually drowned by the crashing waves.
I picked our usual spot, about twenty feet away from the water. The sun blared above us at high noon, and there was a slight breeze to counteract the heat. Cassie sat next to me as I twisted the cap off the beer. I took a sip. It tasted like I imagined it would—like piss. I took another swig. I turned to Cassie who was staring blankly at the heaving, stark ocean. I poked her cheek. When she didn't respond, I squeezed it, hoping to get a giggle or a smile. She batted my hand away.
"What's wrong?" I asked, taking another drink. I knew what was disturbing her. Mrs. Leitch had always greeted us whenever we passed her by. Cassie had always wanted to see the baby up-close, but I told her not to.
"Are we going to die?" she asked, combing the sand in front of her.
"What did I tell you?"
"That we're immune. That we're special."
“That's right.”
I was not sure if we were immune, but after three years of not blowing up spontaneously, it was easy to believe we were safe somehow. I poked her again on her cheek.
"Come on, Cas, wanna' take a sip again?" I said, showing the beer to her. She scrunched her nose and pushed it away.
"Why do you drink that anyway?"
I shrugged and tossed a small bag of potato chips at her, which hit her face. I giggled, and she smirked, the kind of smirk that told you she'll get you back someday. We ate chips and followed it up with a can of vienna sausage and corned beef. After our picnic, Cassie was herself again. She stripped down to her underwear and ran to the waves. I watched her kick sand up in the air as if she wanted to fly. She jumped and splashed and kicked the water as it ebbed and flowed. I gave up on my beer so I joined in on the fun. I picked her up and tossed her in the water, laughing hard as she emerged to the surface.
We stayed for three hours until we packed up and left. We took another route, avoiding the wide road, avoiding Mrs. Leitch. When we arrived back home, we killed time by reading our books and comics. When she got bored, she picked her crayons and did her coloring book. I didn't cook dinner that night since she wanted more corned beef.
I tucked her in and told her the story of Red Riding Hood. She was sullen this night, but I continued my theatrics, trying to sound like the grandmother and the big bad wolf.
"Can you sleep in your own bed?" she said, interrupting the scene where the wolf was about to eat grandma. I turned to her, but her eyes were still glued to the page.
"You want to sleep alone tonight?".
"I think so," she said looking up at me.
“Are you sure?”
She bit her lower lip and moved her eyes all over the page. Finally, she nodded.
“Do you still want me to finish the story?”
"Yes, please."
At the end of the book, Cassie was asleep. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and slid off the bed. I turned the lamp off, but left the door ajar, giving her a little light from the kitchen.
It had been two years since I had slept in my own room, which I only used when I wanted privacy. When our parents were still alive, Cassie and I had slept in separate rooms. Our parents, however, still slept on the same bed. Dad blew up first; mom was ripped to shreds. Cassie was inconsolable after that. She had begged me to sleep with her every night. I had told her the risks involved with it, but she didn't understand or refused to understand. She was a toddler back then anyway.
I lie down on my bed, somehow relieved. I wondered about that decision I had made that time, which you could call a death wish. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but a sickening thought kept me awake. If Cassie blew up first, I knew what to do with myself. But if I were to go, Cassie would be on her own.
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(about 1,900 words)
---
I woke to the sound of explosion. I checked if Cassie, my little sister, was alright. She was intact and sound asleep. I gently slipped my arm off her and walked to the window. Across our home, on the sidewalk, was the human remains of that morning jogger. I met him once.
His torso had exploded. His legs were two houses away. I crouched down to look up from the window. The head was still spinning in the air while the arms were on their way down. Both limbs fell with a loud thud, and the head cracked open as it hit the cool macadam.
Cassie snorted and rustled on the bed. I turned around to see her rubbing her eyes awake.
"Morning," I said.
"Morning," she said.
She rolled to the side of the bed and sat at the edge, her legs dangling. On the carpeted floor was our latest quarry of novels and graphic novels, comics and children's books. Some had streaks of blood on their covers. Yesterday was library day. Today was beach day.
"Get ready and take a bath," I said, "we'll leave after breakfast."
She nodded although her eyes were still closed. I walked over to her, nudged her a bit and squeezed her right cheek, which made her giggle and smile.
While she took a bath, I heated up some corned beef on the gas stove. Our supply was limited to canned foods. Cassie didn't complain, but I wished I could make better meals with decent ingredients and stock. We finished our breakfast, and it was my turn for the bathroom. My hair was getting longer, but still no mustache to make me look like a grown-up.
Before we left the house, I pocketed the Glock handgun I picked up two months ago. There were five bullets left, and I didn't waste any of it for a test shot. I locked the back door and secured the windows. I double checked them again just to be sure. We stepped out, and then I locked the front door. Dad's car was still on the driveway. Even if I knew how to drive, the roads were congested with abandoned cars, most of them with windshields and windows splattered with red.
Cassie noticed the fresh stain across our sidewalk. I moved her away from it and tried to shield her eyes, but she pried my hands away. We started walking. You could still see patches of dried blood and dehydrated sinew on the street, the sidewalk and the gutters. Limbs were carried away by coyotes and dogs. There were no reports of animals being affected by spontaneous combustion. Just us humans.
After passing three houses, we were in front of Mrs. Wong's home. She was sitting on her lawn chair and reading a magazine with her legs stretched forward. To her left were piles of magazines, a pitcher of water and a shotgun.
"Good Morning Mrs. Wong," said Cassie, waving her arms. Mrs. Wong shifted her magazine sideways, showing her immaculate white skin, shaded by her wicker hat. She wore sunglasses that dominated the upper part of her head. She smirked and nodded.
We exited our neighborhood and crossed the dry lands that lay at the outskirts of our town. We avoided the town with its streets and alleyways stinking of dried blood, rotting flesh, lifeless bodies. It was a depressing route, a route we had only taken once. But out in the desert, it was more of a serene walk, a moment to meditate. After twenty minutes of walking, the breeze carried the scent of the sea, its shore emerging from the distance.
Before we headed towards the beach, we stopped by a grocery store next to the gas station. I placed the collar of my shirt to my nose, anticipating the worst before we stepped inside. I looked at Cassie who had already covered her's. The door was wide open, and already I could smell the warm, sickening stench emanating out from the store. I took a step back to take a deep breath. Cassie held on tight. I wanted her to stay outside, but that would be a mistake.
We rush in, taking small inhales, enough to give us oxygen without getting sick.
"Take as much as you can, Cas," I said through my shirt.
I snatched an empty basket from the floor, and we raced down the aisle. Cassie grabbed whatever was in her reach: small bags of chips, cans of mixed nuts, boxes of popcorn, candy, melted chocolate. The basket was half full, and there was enough room for a forty ounce beer for our little picnic. When we reached the end of the aisle, the basket was heavy. We were near the frozen food section where all the meats had gone bad. We turned and sprinted for the exit. Cassie giggled as we ran.
A silhouette of a man stood at the entrance, his features hidden from the blaze outside. Cassie stopped, and I immediately pulled her to my side. The stranger was holding a baseball bat. I reached for my gun and aimed it at him.
"Easy kid," he said, "I'm just here for supplies."
"Back away," I said, trying my best to sound like a grown man. "I don't want to shoot you so back away."
"Alright, alright," he said and stepped back into sunlight. His hair was frayed, and his skin was wrinkled, greasy from sweat and grime. His gaze moved from my gun to Cassie.
"You be careful now," he said with a sickening grin, his eyes running up and down on Cassie. I wanted to pull the trigger; there was no one—no police, no concerned citizen, no adults—who would lock me up for murder. We inch out of the grocery store, my gun still pointed at the man's head. I holstered my pistol after we reached a safe distance, but I still kept an eye on that sicko standing at the mouth of the grocery store.
We entered a cluster of beach houses that were mostly abandoned. We stayed on the wide road with a view to the beach. I kept my hand on my gun, on edge at any danger that could be waiting for us at any corner. It was our usual route, which was safe, but after the encounter at the grocery store, you could never be sure.
As we passed the sixth house, I could hear muffled cries two houses down to our right. I pulled Cassie to my left, my hand on her shoulders. As we neared the wailing, I quickly covered Cassie's eyes. She didn't pry it off.
It was Mrs. Leitch, on her rocker with blood smeared all over her chest, chin, arms and legs. The shirt she wore was shredded from an explosion. Her left breast was in tatters. Her right arm, which had cradled her baby, was broken in half. If I hadn't turned away, I would have stepped on her baby's leg. Cassie gasped and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Close your eyes," I said to Cassie. We walked on. Mrs. Leitch's sorrow faded behind us, eventually drowned by the crashing waves.
I picked our usual spot, about twenty feet away from the water. The sun blared above us at high noon, and there was a slight breeze to counteract the heat. Cassie sat next to me as I twisted the cap off the beer. I took a sip. It tasted like I imagined it would—like piss. I took another swig. I turned to Cassie who was staring blankly at the heaving, stark ocean. I poked her cheek. When she didn't respond, I squeezed it, hoping to get a giggle or a smile. She batted my hand away.
"What's wrong?" I asked, taking another drink. I knew what was disturbing her. Mrs. Leitch had always greeted us whenever we passed her by. Cassie had always wanted to see the baby up-close, but I told her not to.
"Are we going to die?" she asked, combing the sand in front of her.
"What did I tell you?"
"That we're immune. That we're special."
“That's right.”
I was not sure if we were immune, but after three years of not blowing up spontaneously, it was easy to believe we were safe somehow. I poked her again on her cheek.
"Come on, Cas, wanna' take a sip again?" I said, showing the beer to her. She scrunched her nose and pushed it away.
"Why do you drink that anyway?"
I shrugged and tossed a small bag of potato chips at her, which hit her face. I giggled, and she smirked, the kind of smirk that told you she'll get you back someday. We ate chips and followed it up with a can of vienna sausage and corned beef. After our picnic, Cassie was herself again. She stripped down to her underwear and ran to the waves. I watched her kick sand up in the air as if she wanted to fly. She jumped and splashed and kicked the water as it ebbed and flowed. I gave up on my beer so I joined in on the fun. I picked her up and tossed her in the water, laughing hard as she emerged to the surface.
We stayed for three hours until we packed up and left. We took another route, avoiding the wide road, avoiding Mrs. Leitch. When we arrived back home, we killed time by reading our books and comics. When she got bored, she picked her crayons and did her coloring book. I didn't cook dinner that night since she wanted more corned beef.
I tucked her in and told her the story of Red Riding Hood. She was sullen this night, but I continued my theatrics, trying to sound like the grandmother and the big bad wolf.
"Can you sleep in your own bed?" she said, interrupting the scene where the wolf was about to eat grandma. I turned to her, but her eyes were still glued to the page.
"You want to sleep alone tonight?".
"I think so," she said looking up at me.
“Are you sure?”
She bit her lower lip and moved her eyes all over the page. Finally, she nodded.
“Do you still want me to finish the story?”
"Yes, please."
At the end of the book, Cassie was asleep. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and slid off the bed. I turned the lamp off, but left the door ajar, giving her a little light from the kitchen.
It had been two years since I had slept in my own room, which I only used when I wanted privacy. When our parents were still alive, Cassie and I had slept in separate rooms. Our parents, however, still slept on the same bed. Dad blew up first; mom was ripped to shreds. Cassie was inconsolable after that. She had begged me to sleep with her every night. I had told her the risks involved with it, but she didn't understand or refused to understand. She was a toddler back then anyway.
I lie down on my bed, somehow relieved. I wondered about that decision I had made that time, which you could call a death wish. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but a sickening thought kept me awake. If Cassie blew up first, I knew what to do with myself. But if I were to go, Cassie would be on her own.
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Thursday, February 15, 2018
Let’s Have A Sacrifice
Let’s have a sacrifice
because no one listens
and no one cares,
except for the man inside his head
who needs a headline
and a wikipedia page.
Let’s have a sacrifice
a semi-auto holds thirty
while this sidearm holds twelve,
Just enough to appease our gods
as they listen
to the sound of gunfire.
Let’s have a sacrifice,
up the altar next to the tabloids
and chewing gum,
he pays with a credit card
with twenty-five percent interest,
‘cause they don’t accept plastic in church.
Let’s have a sacrifice.
Made sure they won’t take them
from our supplicant hands,
otherwise what will you offer
along with your thoughts
and prayers.
----
(At some point you get really really pissed at how nothing is being done with gun violence. More children die and our leaders don't do squat! All we are asking is for common sense gun control.)
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Friday, January 12, 2018
Copywork Exercise For Writers
I discovered copywork after listening to a podcast (I’m not sure what episode or which podcast it was from; to that, I apologize). I devote about 20 minutes on the exercise: I take a novel or short story and then copy it, word for word.
That’s it.
I rotate between three stories. Currently, I’m doing Stephen King’s IT, James Clavell’s Shogun and Brandon Sanderson’s Way of Kings. I then switch out a title once I’ve finished copying a chapter, either doing another novel or short story. When I’m reading a story and come across an engaging scene, I make note of the chapter and page so I can copy it after I finish reading the book (read for pleasure first; study it later).
I started doing copywork because I was insecure on how I style my sentences. Often, when I’m writing on my manuscript, I worry that I’m using too much action and description, and not enough character thoughts and narrative intrusions. After doing some copywork, I began questioning the oft parroted rule “show, don’t tell.” Eventually I found that the rule must be broken: it is not “show, don’t tell,” it is “show and tell.”
Novice writers tend to “tell” a lot. They overstay inside their character’s head, make the narrator intrude too much, and blabber on and on and on about the world they crafted. But once they take the advice “show, don’t tell” to heart, the novice writer will overdo it and is left with nothing but action and dialogue and description.
Mistakes must be made, and the novice writer must learn. So I learned.
Copywork made me understand that “showing” and “telling” is a spectrum. It is not about balance; it is about rhythm.
There are seven narrative modes. I have listed them from concrete to abstract, from “showing” to “telling.”
In between “showing” and “telling” is summary and transition. Action and dialogue are condensed by the narrator in this mode.
The “telling” modes are thought, intrusion and exposition. These are modes that belong to the narrator, who is an abstract entity of the author’s creation. It reveals what the character is thinking. It intrudes like a ghost, telling us something about the character, or what’s about to happen. Sometimes they’ll explain something that may or may not be relevant, but feel it’s important for the narrator to convey.
So I do this copywork exercise for 12 minutes. Once I’m done copying, I’ll start highlighting clauses and phrases by their narrative mode, which usually takes less than 8 minutes.
The following are the color-coding I use and a brief explanation why it’s colored that way.
Now that we have designated certain colors to their modes, we start highlighting. Look for clauses and phrases, not sentences alone. You will highlight the following:
Let me explain, then, what the narrative modes are.
Action is self-explanatory. If there’s movement, then it’s action. Keyword here is dynamic.
Description can easily be discerned with the S-LV-C sentence construction (is, was, see, hear, smell, feel, taste, etc.). It can be identified with sensory verbs. Keyword here is static.
Dialogue is pretty self-explanatory as well. If folks are talking in real-time, it’s dialogue.
Summary are sentences or paragraphs that speed up time. If Action or Dialogue is being portrayed, but not in great detail, then it is Summary. Transitionals are usually subordinate clauses that marks a jump in time or change in location, thus changing from one scene to another.
Thought has two types: direct and indirect. Direct are sentences with thought tags (I can't believe I broke my arm for that, he thought). Indirect are phrases or clauses without thought tags, but still attributable to a character’s thoughts (Jimmi remembered that time he broke his arm. He knelt down, wondering why he climbed that tree in the first place).
Narrative Intrusion or Intrusion is when the narrator addresses the reader or relays what a character is subconsciously thinking or feeling.
Often Indirect Thoughts and Intrusion are hard to discern. If it comes to that, my rule is this: if the character may think it at the moment, then it is Thoughts. Otherwise it is Intrusion. The following example is from The Gunslinger by Stephen King (underline is my revision):
Same example, but as Intrusion (original text):
First person POV frequently addresses the reader since the narrator is either talking to themselves or the reader. The following example is from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov:
Exposition or Info Dump is the narrator relaying facts and information regarding the story’s universe. If Intrusion is intimate, then Exposition is cold. In Intrusion, the narrator is subjective, biased or opinionated towards the subject. In Exposition, the narrator is objective, detached or fact-based.
Why go all through this, you ask?
It’s a good exercise, I think. Musicians do covers of other successful musicians, and from doing so, they learn scales, techniques and also styles. We imitate to learn, and we innovate from what we learn.
Another benefit is having a place for your notes and analysis. I don’t write on my books (I still see them as sacred), so having the capability to add comments on certain passages is great.
And there you have it. I devote 20 minutes on this exercise. Nothing more. Time is precious, and as writers, we need to work on our own stuff (and read other people’s stuff).
So, fellow writers, copy away!
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That’s it.
I rotate between three stories. Currently, I’m doing Stephen King’s IT, James Clavell’s Shogun and Brandon Sanderson’s Way of Kings. I then switch out a title once I’ve finished copying a chapter, either doing another novel or short story. When I’m reading a story and come across an engaging scene, I make note of the chapter and page so I can copy it after I finish reading the book (read for pleasure first; study it later).
I started doing copywork because I was insecure on how I style my sentences. Often, when I’m writing on my manuscript, I worry that I’m using too much action and description, and not enough character thoughts and narrative intrusions. After doing some copywork, I began questioning the oft parroted rule “show, don’t tell.” Eventually I found that the rule must be broken: it is not “show, don’t tell,” it is “show and tell.”
Novice writers tend to “tell” a lot. They overstay inside their character’s head, make the narrator intrude too much, and blabber on and on and on about the world they crafted. But once they take the advice “show, don’t tell” to heart, the novice writer will overdo it and is left with nothing but action and dialogue and description.
Mistakes must be made, and the novice writer must learn. So I learned.
Copywork made me understand that “showing” and “telling” is a spectrum. It is not about balance; it is about rhythm.
There are seven narrative modes. I have listed them from concrete to abstract, from “showing” to “telling.”
- Action
- Dialogue
- Description
- Summary/Transition
- Thought
- Intrusion
- Exposition
In between “showing” and “telling” is summary and transition. Action and dialogue are condensed by the narrator in this mode.
The “telling” modes are thought, intrusion and exposition. These are modes that belong to the narrator, who is an abstract entity of the author’s creation. It reveals what the character is thinking. It intrudes like a ghost, telling us something about the character, or what’s about to happen. Sometimes they’ll explain something that may or may not be relevant, but feel it’s important for the narrator to convey.
So I do this copywork exercise for 12 minutes. Once I’m done copying, I’ll start highlighting clauses and phrases by their narrative mode, which usually takes less than 8 minutes.
The following are the color-coding I use and a brief explanation why it’s colored that way.
- Action as Red or Orange, like blood and explosions, the stuff associated with action movies.
- Dialogue as nothing because you can easily identify it with quotation marks. If you’re doing copywork of Cormac McCarthy, who eschews quotation marks, then you can add those for your sake (and sanity).
- Description as Green, like most of Mother Nature with her trees and grass and shrubberies.
- Summary/Transition as Yellow, like the caution signal in traffic lights.
- Thought as Blue, like the sky where clouds float, which I associate with thought bubbles in comics (because they look like clouds).
- Intrusion as Pink because Narrators are fabulous entities (the color choice was a personal thing).
- Exposition as Gray because it’s a dull color.
Now that we have designated certain colors to their modes, we start highlighting. Look for clauses and phrases, not sentences alone. You will highlight the following:
- Main Clauses
- Subordinate Clauses
- Absolute Phrases
- Participial Phrases
Let me explain, then, what the narrative modes are.
Action is self-explanatory. If there’s movement, then it’s action. Keyword here is dynamic.
Description can easily be discerned with the S-LV-C sentence construction (is, was, see, hear, smell, feel, taste, etc.). It can be identified with sensory verbs. Keyword here is static.
Dialogue is pretty self-explanatory as well. If folks are talking in real-time, it’s dialogue.
Summary are sentences or paragraphs that speed up time. If Action or Dialogue is being portrayed, but not in great detail, then it is Summary. Transitionals are usually subordinate clauses that marks a jump in time or change in location, thus changing from one scene to another.
Thought has two types: direct and indirect. Direct are sentences with thought tags (I can't believe I broke my arm for that, he thought). Indirect are phrases or clauses without thought tags, but still attributable to a character’s thoughts (Jimmi remembered that time he broke his arm. He knelt down, wondering why he climbed that tree in the first place).
Narrative Intrusion or Intrusion is when the narrator addresses the reader or relays what a character is subconsciously thinking or feeling.
Often Indirect Thoughts and Intrusion are hard to discern. If it comes to that, my rule is this: if the character may think it at the moment, then it is Thoughts. Otherwise it is Intrusion. The following example is from The Gunslinger by Stephen King (underline is my revision):
[He muttered] the old and powerful nonsense words as he did . . . Strange how some of childhood’s words and ways fell to the wayside.In the second sentence (Strange how some . . . ), it is not clear who is conveying this. The narrator could be interjecting their thoughts, or the gunslinger could be thinking this. But since it’s plausible the gunslinger can think this, the second sentence is Thought.
Same example, but as Intrusion (original text):
[He muttered] the old and powerful nonsense words as he did . . . It was strange how some of childhood’s words and ways fell to the wayside and were left behind, while others clamped tight and rode for life, growing the heavier to carry as time passed.In the second sentence (It was strange how . . . ), the gunslinger might be thinking this. But since the gunslinger is preoccupied with singing a childhood song, it’s hard to imagine that he is having this detailed train of thought. The clue that makes this an Intrusion is the narrator’s interjection on how “others clamped tight and rode for life”.
First person POV frequently addresses the reader since the narrator is either talking to themselves or the reader. The following example is from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.Another thing that a narrator can do is look into the future that the character would not be aware of. For example:
Jim stopped to look at the grotesque painting. If he hadn’t looked at it, then he would have been safe from the curse that would kill him in ten days.On the second sentence, the narrator intrudes, giving the reader a hint of what’s to come. Dramatic Irony is always an Intrusion. Dramatic Irony is when the reader knows more than the characters, thanks to the narrator giving that info. On the example above, the reader knows that Jim will be cursed, but Jim is not aware of it yet.
Exposition or Info Dump is the narrator relaying facts and information regarding the story’s universe. If Intrusion is intimate, then Exposition is cold. In Intrusion, the narrator is subjective, biased or opinionated towards the subject. In Exposition, the narrator is objective, detached or fact-based.
Jim stopped to look at the grotesque painting. It was made in 1723 by Johann Mayorga, who had used virgin blood for the reds and charred bone for the blacks. Jim shivered at the sight of it.On the second sentence, a fact has been relayed to us. This is a quick exposition. The following is an info dump:
Jim stopped to look at the grotesque painting. It was made in 1723 by Johann Mayorga, who had used virgin blood for the reds and charred bone for the blacks. The canvas, though mistaken with real cloth, was made of stretched and dried human skin. When the authorities eventually discovered his macabre hobby, they had found thirteen canvasses, all dried and ready to be painted on. His brushes . . .Too much information could rob the reader of some intrigue and mystery. It is good practice to sprinkle it in bite-sizes unless you want to elicit an emotion from info dumping. But it can become tedious. Veteran authors are adept with info dumping; novices use too much that it becomes suffocating.
Why go all through this, you ask?
It’s a good exercise, I think. Musicians do covers of other successful musicians, and from doing so, they learn scales, techniques and also styles. We imitate to learn, and we innovate from what we learn.
Another benefit is having a place for your notes and analysis. I don’t write on my books (I still see them as sacred), so having the capability to add comments on certain passages is great.
And there you have it. I devote 20 minutes on this exercise. Nothing more. Time is precious, and as writers, we need to work on our own stuff (and read other people’s stuff).
So, fellow writers, copy away!
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