Scene Analysis #4 - Mort by Terry Pratchett

Welcome back, Persistent Writers! Today we are diving into Mort by Terry Pratchett. I love this book, mainly because of Death and the premise of Death's apprentice. 


As a refresher from my copywork blogpost (click here to read the full post), here is the color coding on the highlights:

• Orange for Action beats
• Green for Descriptions
• No highlights for Dialogue
• Yellow for Summary/Transition
• Blue for Thoughts
• Pink for Authorial/Narrator Intrusion
• Purple for Exposition

Immediately, the narrator addresses us indirectly, pointing at the setting as if showcasing it to us (This is the bright candlelit...). The narrator then gives us concrete description and action, which grounds us to the physical realm of the story rather than the ethereal realm of the narrator's head (shelf upon shelf ... pouring their fine sand ...).

After that beat of action and description, we go back inside the narrator's head. Not only do we get an exposition on Death, but we also get a glimpse of the narrator's character. I enjoyed this book so much because of the narrator's personality. They show their wit on the following passage: Scientists have calculated that the chance of anything so patently absured actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

Once more, we enter the physical realm; deeper this time.

In between action and description, the narrator intrudes, filling us in on what Death knows, what the Ramptops are and what people will say about "old magic." Then we are taken deeper and deeper into a location (Now he sees...) until a line of dialogue is spoken.

The next page is a new scene. There is a scene break between page two and three on this copywork exercise. Notice that we are kept in the ethereal realm as the narrator tell us something about Discworld. It is an info dump below; Sir Terry is "telling" us about Reannuals rather than "showing" us what Reannuals are. In this case, it works because the explanation of Reannuals is so entertainingly ridiculous.

I love the transition below from abstract to concrete. The narrator relays information on Mort and Mort's family. The narrator describes Mort and then transitions to action beats and dialogue. From this point, we are engaged in the scene.

Action and dialogue continues to dominate.

There is a break in action and dialogue below where Lezek and Hamesh imagine when Mort got into wizardry. The break is used for humorous effect, and it is potent because we've been mired in action and dialogue for the past few pages.

The scene ends with dialogue, emphasizing on one of Mort's characteristics.

I enjoyed these scenes because of the clear-cut rhythm of "showing" and "telling". The two scenes started in the abstract and ended in the concrete with dialogue. The first scene is an ebbing and flowing of "show" and "tell" whereas the second scene is a descent from "tell" to "show".

The first scene's structure is as follows:

• GOAL: Death needs to locate a potential apprentice
• CONFLICT: None
• OUTCOME: Will Death locate his apprentice? Yes.
• AUTHOR INTENT:
• To establish the room that holds the lifetimers
• To introduce Death
• To setup the tone and mood of the story through the narrator's voice

The first scene doesn't have any form conflict. Some will advise that each scene must have conflict, but in this case, having a conflict would distract the reader from the true intent of this scene. The intent of this scene is to establish the setting, the tone and mood. Here, we are also introduced to Death and the narrator.

The second scene's structure is as follows:

• GOAL: Lezek wants Hamesh to take Mort as an apprentice.
• CONFLICT: Hamesh will not get Lezek's hints and suggestions. Hamesh will lie that he already has an apprentice.
• OUTCOME: Will Hamesh take Mort as an apprentice? NO, BUT Hamesh will suggest that he take Mort to a hiring fair.
• AUTHOR INTENT:
• To show the Ramtops
• To explain "reannuals" 
• To introduce Mort and his family's business
• To setup the hiring fair

On the second scene, we finally have a conflict. Lezek wants Hamesh to take Mort as an apprentice, but Hamesh seems to be deaf to Lezek's hints and suggestion until finally Lezek reveals his true intention. After he reveals his motive, Hamesh lies about getting an apprentice already. Despite Lezek failing on his goal, he is given an out: the hiring fair.

Below is a graph of the narrative modes of the copied scene. This shows the rhythm between abstract and concrete beats. It scales from -3 to +3 with the following sequence respectively: Exposition (as -3), Intrusion, Thought, Transition (as 0.5), Description, Dialogue and Action (as +3).



Mort is a wonderful story, and I enjoyed doing this copywork. For the next analysis, I'm focusing on First Person POV since the last entries were all Third Person POV.

Keep writing!

Click this to join my newsletter

Follow me @jonmayowriter

---

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.